hmmm

i hate how i feel right now.

wazzup

hmm

man, I've only just got home from work and its 9.30pm
i left home at 8am!
I'm so tired but i have tomorrow off so I'm happy :)
I've been working so much, but it's been good..
i need the $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
badly.
i need a lot for when Alex is here, a lot for a car
and a lot for my tattoo
i love everything my tattoo stands for, I'm so excited!
all I've been doing is listening to Justin Bieber, Motley Crue, Lady Gaga, Mumford and sons & Beyonce, that is literally all i have been doing, oh and working.
i love going on the train some days, there's a few people that are my 'regulars'
i know their faces and they always smile at me :)
there's this one boy at Stirling station, hes about 15 and has his eye brows drawn on with black liquid eyeliner and his eyes are painted with black liquid and a huge big straightened fringe, he puts so much effort in.. then his girlfriend is this weird looking girl who puts NO effort it.. no make up, hair just thrown up.. i dunno maybe it's just me but i find it weird that he puts so much effort in and she's just.. thrown together..
they always sit there and kiss, its cute haha.
i people watch way too much. .. maybe i should stop being a creep :)
i have been covering my cupboard slowly in models i love.. I've worked out i really love one model in particular because one hole side is covered in her! i would look like a raging lesbian so anyone that comes to my room, luckily i have no friends :)


cya.

blackyyyyyyyy

i love having black hair again
i want both sides of my nose pierced, please?
my lip will be back again by the end of this week
i wish workplaces were cool about tattoos and piercings...
next week i am going to the tattooist to book for me & alex i'm so excited/nervous
august 2-9 will probably be the happiest week of the year for me, i have a little present for Alex when she's here.
i pretty much have changed everything, it's like he was never in my house, everything has changed. my bedroom, bathroom, lounge room.. i just need to delete the photos and he will be gone.
i don't think i have ever appreciated tam as much as i have for the last two or so weeks, she understands everything.
last night my family came over, fuck i love them. my cousin who i haven't seen in over 5 years came with his girlfriend, so i got drunk haha.. it was a bit cute :)
my mums in new Zealand and i hate it. i miss her
my blogging is so boring, and i don't care :)

i wish i could change things

i love tamara :)
oh by the way
i got glasses :)

so, my finger

still has a lump, still hurts & still looks yum
i wonder what has hurt my finger like this
maybe it's my body trying to shut down, it's been trying hard lately.
but i'm strong.. i won't let it.
i think i miss things, but those things were lies anyway.


i wonder why i miss the lies
i wonder why i like the lies more then the truth,
the lies kept me happy for nearly 3 years.
then one day, everything changed..
i found out all your lies
nothing will ever be the same, i feel like i need to talk to you, but you are a lie.
i don't want anymore lies, ever.
it feels like you never existed, but it's too hard to think that you were never here.
fuck.


lieslieslies.
i need truth.
are there any honest people in this world left?
or am i left here alone?